


Fighting Off Demons

by lionc



Series: Stubborn and Broken [2]
Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Other, Past Rape/Non-con, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Sadness, whump!morse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-25 08:02:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16193444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionc/pseuds/lionc
Summary: After the events of part 1 Morse discovers it's a difficult road to recovery.Things will never be the same again. Shadows of the past keeps haunting his memories.If that wasn't enough already, some important criminals are still on the loose.Justice will prevail eventually, but at what cost?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A sequal *claps hands*!  
> I couldn't leave you hanging now could I?;P  
> And tbh, I had too much fun writing this!  
> Unlike part 1 I'm planning to keep this less comprehensive, I just want the story to have a finishing touch, thats all.  
> And well, I always love to describe the recovery of a character after a traumatizing event, so...  
> Hopefully its good, enjoy and love to u all <33

*'So, how is he?'  
-'I don't know, he just got back from the hospital, I suppose he's at some safe house right now, no one knows where. The daughter of DI Thursday is looking after him.'

*'I've heard, he isn't much on speaking therms. They even had to sedate him in the hospital, seriously he got mental when the doctors tried to help him...'  
-'Well, he's been through a lot.'  
*'You think he'll come back to his old self eventually?'

-'I don't know to be honest. I hope so, he was, or rather still is, one of our best detectives.'  
*'Yeah.'

-'He still has to testify though, so I assume we'll see him then.'  
*'Yeah, I hope so. Did DI Thursday say anything about the fugitives?'  
-'Nope, I only know they are searching everywhere, Thursday is all over it, it's like he's driven mad with revenge for what they did to his colleague.'  
*’Well, who'd blame him right?'

-'Honestly? I support him. Those bastards deserve to be punished... The old fashioned way, if ya asked me.'  
*'Yeah everyone in the police station thinks the same. I mean did you saw the state of him? How he suddenly walked in here, in the middle of mayhem because of that phonecall. He just walked in here like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't been missed for 4 damn months?'

-'Everyone thought he was dead, buried somewhere or just left in a ditch never to be found again.'  
*’For a second I thought he was a damn ghost. For real, don't laugh, hear me out. I've seen a dead body and trust me he looked like one, he just stood there at the counter all pale and thin. ~That image will always haunt my mind, I can tell you that.'

-'Well. Let's just hope, he'll get some justice.'  
-'He deserves it more than anyone, you can't deny that.'  
*'Yeah, you can't deny that...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

'Goodmorning, how are you feeling?' Said the brown haired woman with a cheery voice. Morse looked up from the paper he was reading and turned to see Joan walking into his living room.  
She carried a basket full of groceries with her while she smiled warmly and placed it before him on the table.

Morse greeted her, somehow just her smile brightened up his day and made him forget the nightmares he had during the night. And because of it had checked the guards at his door multiple times, just to make sure he was safe...

He would never talk about these things with Joan, because he simple couldn't and just wanted to enjoy the moments they spent together, it gave him some tranquility in his life.  
It's been three weeks since he fled and two weeks when he arrived at this house, Joan visited him almost everyday, buying groceries, cooking diner, doing some chores around the house. 

Morse was grateful towards her but also felt a gap between them sometimes, when the pain of the past ruined the mood. 

A lot had happened.

'Morning, I'm fine thanks.' Morse peaked into the basket. 'My god Joan, you didn't had to buy so many groceries, really. It looks like your gonna cook for a whole family.' He said, wondering what Joan's plans were.

'Well, because it's Friday, I wanted to make something special.'

She said and joined him at the table.

'Really? Like what?' He asked. Joan looked at him with twinkling eyes. Happy her effort had made some changes since Morse had come back. He was so quiet at first, as if he just didn't dare to speak up for some reason.

'That's gonna be a surprise.' She said looking all mischievous. Morse smiled at that, she always teased him a little with his curiosity.  
'But Morse, for real this time,' She said while she intertwined her fingers on the table, taking a pragmatic attitude. He didn't like her serious tone, not in the slightest, his mood had just lifted. He sighed and prepared himself for the one question he hated most to answer. 

'How are you?' Morse leaned back into his chair looking slightly jaded.

'I already told you Joan, I'm fine. Everything healed pretty well, I'm just a bit tired.'

Joan observed him with her sharp eyes. Eyes no one could ever lie too. 'Do I have to check your bandages?'

'No. I appreciate your concern, but thats something private, thank you.' He said restive, growing all distant instantly. 

Silence hung in the air, as thick as smoke.  
'I understand, sorry.' She said eventually, after a couple of awkward minutes. 

'Don't be.' He said, regretting his curt rejection, he never wanted to snap at her, he just didn't want her to... it was a rather delicate subject, thats all. He rubbed his tired eyes. Trying to find the right words to lift up the mood again, but found he could find none. So he just stared back at his paper, without reading the words. 

'I've got an idea!' Joan suddenly stood up, 'You haven't been outside in ages, some sunlight would do you good. How about we go to the park? I even buy you an ice cream, only because it's Friday by the way, so don't get any ideas.' She said playfully, looking all expectant. 

But she didn't receive any response from Morse on the matter. He just stared down, awfully quiet hands cupping his forehead. 

'Endeavour? Don't you think that's a nice idea, or?' She asked carefully, realizing she may had pushed too far. 'Morse?' She had to withhold herself from touching him. He didn't react too well on that at the hospital, either.

'Yes, yes it is, but it's just... I know they almost caught everyone remaining, but the head of the snake is still missing and walking around freely... It's just.. exposing myself like that, not a risk I'm gonna take, sorry.' He stuttered and rubbed his eyes again nervously.

'But there'll be like, 5 armed guards keeping an eye out. They will protect you at any cost if need be. It would do you good Endeavour. Sitting in here, in this stuffed house. It can't be healthy now can it? I'm sure the man you speak of is smart enough to have fled the country by now. As far as I'm concerned my father is on a warpath, it would be very stupid of the man to even be near.' She huffed, trying to convince him into joining her for a walk. 

She had a point, Morse had lived like a hermit these past weeks. Windows always closed, curtains never open. Always scared to be found out.  
Maybe it would do him good, to set aside these fears for once.

'Come on, it'll be fun, It doesn't have to be such a big distance. We start small, alright?'  
Morse sighed. 'Fine.' He said, still a little doubtful. How could he ever deny her things.

'But if I want to go back to the safe house, we return immediately, understood?' He said strictly, because he knew how convincing Joan could be sometimes.  
She smiled, 'Yes, yes ofcourse. Pinky swear.'

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before they stepped outside, Morse made sure he was thickly dressed. Wearing an over-sized coat, that lay loosely on his thin body, a cap and a warm scarf made out of wool, that covered half of his face. Last but least he put on some sunglasses. 

Joan looked at him and giggled, Morse saw she tried to contain her laugh, he couldn't blame her, he must've looked all jolly and puffy.  
But anonymous and safe, Morse reminded himself. 

His heart was razing, how could she just walk around outside as if nothing had happened? How? 

'Alright cowboy, ready?' She asked. He nodded although it was hard to see because of the clothing. She grabbed the handle of the door and opened it slowly. Morse suddenly stopped her.

'Joan.. I ...' He muttered and shoved away the cloth that held him from articulating normally. 'How can you manage to just walk around so carefree. Even if you know the robbers who kidnapped and threatened you, are still out there? How... Do you manage?' He didn't want to remind her of that traumatic event, but he kinda was panicking at the moment and he just needed to know.

She met his eyes and looked away startled by the fact that he would bring it up right now. Her expression went from cheery to sorrowful, in thought she tried to find the right words to explain her recovery to him.

'I think I processed it and got over it. Although it took some time, yeah. It took me more than a month to go out independently again. But you know, you just have to think you're safe. Because let me tell you something, right here and now. You are safe. They never got me, now did they?'

No, because I made sure of that. Morse thought darkly. He didn't noticed Joan stilled while she looked at him with a confused expression on her face.  
'Morse, I know you made a deal in the past, but what did you mean by that?' She asked softly. 

'What?' Morse could slap himself, had he spoken out loud, for real? He didn't had time for this.  
'Nothing, come on lets go outside. I can't wait to get some fresh air!' He said, while he took Joan's arm, opened the door and dragged her outside with full confidence. 

Joan decided not to press any further on the matter and went along with Morse. She looked after him and made sure the armed guards stayed close.  
There were still criminals on the loose...


	2. Chapter 2

A week later, Endeavour got a call from Fred Thursday. His colleague and friend, who never seemed to take a break from his eternal witch hunt, by tracking down the whole criminal organization and its fugitives.

Morse didn't mind, the sooner they got arrested, the sooner he finally could let go of things and step outside without a second thought of being found out or being killed...   
But sometimes he wondered if Fred wasn't overworking himself, driven by guilt for what happened to Morse. He heard from Joan that he came home after midnight and left before she even got up. 

The time they spent together after his escape, were short and not regularly like Joan's visits. Sometimes Fred couldn't look him in the eye, masking the guilt and the anger he felt, wasn't his specialty or maybe Morse just knew him too well. 

Yet again too much had happened, the weight of it always present. He wondered if it ever could go back to the way things were before. 

'I finally have some good news Morse.' Fred said proudly over the phone. 

'I caught the very man who abducted you and Joan.' Morse was speechless and blanked out. An immense joy took him over and before long he was escorted to the police station to confirm the violent robber. 

The very man who'd be accused of multiple crimes, such as murder, a robbery, abduction and various other accusations, that would ensure a lifetime behind bars. Morse couldn't be more happy, like a weight falling off of him, all of this instantly and finally made it a bit more bearable. 

While he made his way to the building, the deal he made in a state of desperation with his brother, crept up in the back of his mind. He stopped for a minute, listening to the raindrops falling on his umbrella. He couldn't break a promise now could he? Certainly not with the one who saved him from a terrible fate. It wasn't in him to break a promise, even if it wasn't a justly deal. But when Morse stepped into the police station, he immediately got a warm welcome and was treated like a hero. Most of his favorite colleagues came to greet him he was treated with respect and admiration.. For a delicious moment, Morse felt like the respectable detective he always had been, who successfully had solved a crime, instead of being treated like a constant victim all the time. 

How could he ever disappoint his coworkers now, after their hard work to ensure his safety. DCI Thursday guided him towards the hearing room, a small group passed him on the way. He recognized some of the people. Victims who were taken hostage after a robbery gone wrong, some had reassuring expressions on their faces, other a calmness only gotten by the fact, that they must have recognized the criminal that Fred had arrested. 

Morse gulped down a big lump when he walked into the room. He fully knew the tied man behind the dimmed glass couldn't see or hear him. But Morse instantly froze up, with just one look. 

It was him, it really was him. Those features, the aggression in those eyes. Fear made him sweat. He had to steady himself against the wall.   
He had to remind himself maybe a hundred time that he was safe here and the other was arrested and locked up. Looking all lost and angry. 

After the impact of seeing one of his abusers. He couldn't deny he was scared, but he also felt a powerful shift. Cole was at their mercy, cuffed onto the table. Nowhere to go, caught in a system he would never get out from. 

A strange vengeful thought occurred to him. How many times did he lay awake, wondering if Cole would have the nowabouts of where he stayed? To just beat him down again and would take advantage and eventually would kill him after he was done. It had driven him almost to the point, that he just wished Cole would come kill him already. 

One of his darkest moments, Morse wasn't to proud of. Anger had risen up inside of him. He tried to push the thought away of killing the man behind the glass here and now. 

After some time he had calmed down a bit and observed him a little and instead began pitying him. 

But suddenly Cole's head turned and looked him straight in the eye. Morse was terrified, as if stricken by lightning he stood completely still. 

He felt the lingering pain of healed wounds and brushing on his body, caused by his hands and the many grabbings that had coloured his wrists purple, like he was just a plaything, without any rights, without a will. Then Cole gazed at his cuffs and Endeavour looked away. Breathed in slowly and tried to ease his heartbeat. 

He closed his eyes. No time for a panic attack he told himself. He doesn't even know you're here. After a couple of minutes. He turned his head towards Thursday whose eyes stood worried. Morse had made his decision. 'It's him Fred.' He said, voice a little shaky.

'Thank you.' A soft smile appeared on his lips, for what seems like the first time in ages Thursday also seemed reassured.  
'You're welcome Endeavour.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters! Jejj  
> I hope you enjoy them <3 And as always thank you for taking the time to read my sometimes atrocious English ;)   
> I try my best to make it right, still looking for a bétareader though >.>  
> Happy Halloween btw!!

Morse froze up instantly when he heard the well-known sound of shoes stepping softly on the white tiles of the kitchen.   
Dammed! For his 'own protection' they had taken his gun away. He didn't had anything in his bedroom he could use as a weapon. 

The only 'weaponry' he had in this house like a knife or a frying pan, currently were in the kitchen. So there's that. Morse grabbed his belt that lay coiled in a corner and tried to man up already. Sooner or later this was going to happen. He was done hiding from these thugs, this was his home for gods sake! How did the intruder even get in here? 

Whatever he was up to, Morse would make it damn difficult for him. He really was at the wrong place, at the wrong damn time, he would make sure the intruder got that message.   
He opened the door with an angry swing and looked into the living room. Belt held steady in his other hand, ready to lash out any second.

A dark shape of a man stood at the table silently. Morse opened his mouth but nothing came out, he stilled and started trembling all over his body, his heart beated harshly in his chest, cold sweat suddenly dripped over his forehead. 

An uncomfortable feeling almost pushed him on his knees, into a submissive state. A grim tendency he got from months of imprisonment at the hands of a criminal leader he once tried to get behind bars. The asshole, he just hoped the strange form in his living room wasn't Arlan or his accomplice and didn't come here to kill him... or worse, abduct him to deliver him back to the man he once managed to escape. 

What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't even speak out properly! Only the sound of soft teeth chattering managed to escape his lips. Shame crawled over his back and coloured his cheeks, maybe he wasn't so courageous after all, not anymore at least. 

The man took a step towards him, Morse couldn't do anything, his body just didn't want to move, he felt like a metal stature. The other stepped into the illuminating light from the window, that clearly had been opened. 

The form of a big 'O' appeared on the detectives lips, when he recognized the younger man before him. 'P...Peter?' He stammered, not believing his eyes. 

'Endeavour, I thought we had a deal.' 

'No, no leave me alone.' Morse finally could move a again and immediately took a defensive attitude towards Peter and hold on to the belt in a threatening way. 'Or I will get the guards.'

'Fine, get them.' Peter said nonchalantly. Morse watched him for a moment trying to deduct the small details on his features that would give away his intention. This was far too easy for his liking, but the man just stood completely in control and stayed calm. He just waited and gave Morse a choice. 

No, Peter wasn't here to hurt him, Morse realized.   
Go on, what are you waiting for. He said. Fine he would listen to what he had to say, but sure as hell wouldn't trust him yet.

When he saw Morse had calmed down a bit, he said. 'Good, lets just talk okay? Thats all I'm after. Just a talk. Lets just, idunno sit down here alright?' He looked at Morse, carefully calculating his reaction, showing him that he didn't meant any harm. He shoved the chair from underneath the table and sat down slowly. 

After a while, Morse followed his example, not trusting him in any way yet, but also wanted to give him a chance to explain himself.

'I thought you would help me put Arlan behind bars.' He said in a serious tone. 'Why framing my brother, yes, alright he has beaten you up once, but that was all on Arlan's orders you know that.'

A flashback stung his mind. Nausea crept up in the back of his throat. He looked away.  
'You don't get it,' he said with a harsh tone. Morse immediately pushed the feeling of being held down away from his mind. The sheer brutality he was exposed too those weeks in captivity and that terrible night he still had nightmares from. 

Were things he just never could talk about, things he preferred to forget. Like it never happened. But it did and even after a lovely day with Joan, Morse couldn't escape the demons that came haunting his dreams at night. Shame flushed his neck. Peter just wouldn't understand. 

'What? What are you talking about? What don't I get? Because as far as I know, you framed my brother instead of Arlan, you threw away our deal … You betrayed me. Why... Why do this!' He rammed his fist in the table, making Morse almost jump up from his chair. He was angry but also hurt. Hurt Morse didn't keep his promise and hurt because he had lost his brother while they fled. Morse couldn't deny he had a point and had the right to be very angry with him. The detective didn't know what to say and decided he would just let him be for a moment.

'I saved you.' He murmured, tears shone up in the darkness and rolled down his cheek. Morse couldn't help the guilt he was beginning to feel, but still didn't regret his decision to break the deal.

'I'm sorry Peter, I didn't want it to end up like this. But Keep in mind, Your brother led the robbery abducted me and Joan Thursday, other victims already recognized him and indicated his crimes at the police station. I can't do anything about that.' Morse looked at him sternly, because this was serious and irreversible. 'Anything.' He repeated. 'I just can't and I don't have the authority to work on the case either. I'm so sorry Peter, I truly am, I know how much your brother meant for you. But justice always gets it's way in the end.'

'Shut it!' He yelled. But Morse stood his ground, he knew this side of the system better than anyone.

'If you give yourself over to the police, I will testify for you in any way I can. Because without you Peter, this whole criminal organization still would have it's way into society, without you I would've been sold as leverage... And be Arlan's plaything. But you helped me, you saved me and you were the only one who stood up for me out there. So please, consider my offer. It's the one thing I can do for you.'


End file.
